“I’m not your dad”

SOME of you may have been surprised to see my face in Fabulous magazine, the free pull-out glossy contained within the pages of The Sun, this week. While I never planned to write such a personal piece – I’ve always tried to stay away from writing about myself where possible – I’m now glad I did it.

The article came about after I tentatively responded to a case study request by Fabulous. They were after a subject who found out that the man who brought them up was in fact not their biological father at all, something which happened to me at the age of 16. While at the time it caused my teenage brain to go into temporary meltdown, it has never been a big deal within my family.

Although it was a shock, my father has raised me since I was 5 months old, so I don’t know any different. And after the confusion clouds cleared – which they soon did – I decided that I didn’t care, that blood wasn’t everything, and as a result my relationship with both my mother and father is very strong. I have never gone out to find my biological father – although as a journalist I certainly have the tools to do so – I don’t care enough, it’s as simple as that.

One thing the experience has taught me – and as I grow older I’m glad it has – is the importance of a father’s relationship which his children. Families don’t come in the traditional unit these days – times have changed and it’s not 1960 anymore. Relationships break down, divorces happen, people move on from each other. A break-up from the mother certainly doesn’t mean you are walking away from your children. Despite what happens between the parents, a father should always try to be in his child’s life – it can have devastating consequences for the child if they are not.

I was lucky – I never even knew my biological father, and I never needed to – my dad took care of everything and made sure I didn’t need to know the other man. But I know a lot of people are not as lucky, and are prevented in some way from having a relationship with one of their parents, whether it be an unloving and absent father who doesn’t even pick up the phone, to desperate dads who are prevented from seeing their children due to other factors.

We had a great time on the shoot and it was a good way to tell my dad that he’s possibly the best ever.

photo (30) photo (31)

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